ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
