Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
