Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
