I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
