im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
