Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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