are you still at the devil's house?
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
thus making me awesome and them whores
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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