I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
