i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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