we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Found the puke drawer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
