Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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