Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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