I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
