we're blogging at a bar
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
