You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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