But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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