I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
