Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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