I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
