i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
