Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
