yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize