well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
