This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
