who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
