she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize