she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I want is dick and wine.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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