Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize