I wish I only lived at night.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
