Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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