ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
