Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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