speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
