and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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