No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
