She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
