I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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