He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize