So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
