He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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