..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
bring money and cleavage
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
