trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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