He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
