He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize