11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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