at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
handjob tips. give me some.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
