Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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