So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize