i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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