Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
