Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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