it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
