i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
