the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
