I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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