I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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