he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When did angry sex become our thing?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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