shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
