would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
