well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
