We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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