Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
