Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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