so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My hand turned me down
i wish my penis had a tongue
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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