im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
