great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
