you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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