I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
