his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
