Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
