ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize