to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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