i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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