don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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