I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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